Dirty, Dirty Water

Boston's water is dirtier than ever. My mother has reminded me of that fact over the course of various phone conversations between yesterday's emergency declaration and today. Yup, in a city where we blare the fact that we "love that dirty water" after most professional sports wins, someone finally listened and gave us what we love. For those of you who have been asleep or simply not effected by the emergency, a major main water break occurred yesterday in Weston that has forced people in several cities, including Boston, to sip bottled or boiled water instead of water straight from the tap. Whoop de doo, right? Well, it's actually kind of funny just how crazy communities are going over this situation.

You can't get bottled water that costs less than liquid gold anywhere, and a casual stroll down the sidewalk on a gorgeous Sunday is sure to yield multiple encounters with college students whose lives have been greatly inconvenienced by what has happened. (Grow a pair, guys). I personally have been holed up in my apartment all day getting started on a brutal 20-page paper due on Wednesday for a literature class. I won't pretend like I haven't felt the repercussions of the emergency, though.

A lack of clean tap water haschanged my normal daily routine. It was actually kind of fun to pull out the biggest pot I own, fill it with tap water, and let it boil until I was satisfied that I had fried any killer organism that may have been floating in it. Of course, dead parasites taste a lot better than live parasites, so I was in for a treat. Now I've got a pot of dead parasites sitting on my stove. Every time I'm thirsty I need to fill up a cup, stick it in the fridge, and wait until its cold enough for my sensitive palate. Brushing my teeth and taking a shower with pursed lips and closed eyes were adventures, too.

But enough of my whining. I'm honestly not too bothered by what has happened, and half of that 20-pager saved and completed is evidence for that fact. In the meantime, while I trudge into the second half of it, I can get my giggles by seeing how everyone in the facebook world is struggling (grow a pair, guys) and wondering how this shenanigan might effect the world of sports. Check it out:

Boston is home to many professional sports teams, and I'm sure that if anyone in that community is effected by the aquapocalypse, we'll know about it. For now, some hypothetical situations. The Red Sox missed the beginning of the crisis, as they were being hosted by the Baltimore Orioles when the news broke. Three losses to the abysmal team, however, may have fans wishing the Red Sox had more excuses to perform the way they did. The Red Sox look bad. When they return home tomorrow night to begin a set with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, maybe they'll consider biological warfare to get a one up on their opponent. They'll need it.

The Celtics were also out of town at the outset of the emergency, enjoying a pummeling at the hands of the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round of the Eastern Conference Semifinals in Cleveland. Again, when they get to return home on Friday, maybe they'll use Boston's dirty, dirty water to their advantage.

It's not very interesting to think about teams that have been out of Boston during the initial scare. They will know about the occurrence upon their return. Visiting teams will know as well, and no one is bound to be affected. Professional sports should have no problem getting bottled water for their players' water bottles, and if a player decides to suck from the tap, that's their problem, and they deserve what's coming to them.

The Bruins and the Flyers are a little more interesting, however. The teams were engaged in the first match of their eastern conference semifinal series right around the time of the break, and they may have had a greater chance of accidentally ingesting tap water before knowing about the dangers of it. Such an occurrence could be devastating to one or both teams down the stretch of these playoffs. Then again, because we haven't heard anything yet, I'm led to believe that the series will continue with it's thrills unaffected by the crisis.

Still, I can imagine a hockey fight during tomorrow's game two in which the loser has to lick the ice surface, virtually guaranteeing sickness down the road. It will be funny to see such an important game played right on top of killer parasites and Boston's frozen, dirty, dirty water.

In all likelihood, Boston's water crisis will not change anything in the professional sporting world, but it certainly could. All it would take is a lapse of memory by Flyers goalie Brian Boucher or a yawn in the shower by Bruins winger Mark Recchi to change things rather quickly. I won't hold my breath. Keep on loving that dirty water, Boston.


In other sporting news, the Canadiens shut down the Penguins en route to a 3-1 win to knot the series at one game a piece earlier today. While I can't stand either team, I am enjoying that both are displaying the fact that they can be beaten thus far. Hopefully theirs will be a long series that tires the victor, leaving them vulnerable in the Eastern Conference finals.

Speaking of the Eastern Conference finals, the Bruins inched one game closer to the series with a 5-4 overtime win against the Flyers yesterday afternoon. In a fairytale ending, Marc Savard, returning from seven weeks on the DL after a cheap shot from the Penguins' Matt Cooke, scored the OT winner late in the first OT period. His reaction and the fans' reactions sent chills down my spine, as this Bruins team's postseason has been filled with momentum and positive energy. While Marco Sturm's loss will not help in the long run (torn ACL and MCL), the B's are in a good place.

Unfortunately, reports have been made of empty seats in the TD Garden for the game. For the sake of a team that has given their all this post season, I hope that Bruins fans wake up and start supporting their team like I know they can. Boston has a great opportunity to finish the Eastern Conference Semifinals strong, head into the Finals versus a team against whom they have so many reasons to play well against, and move onto the League championship series where anything can happen. They will need fan support behind them. I am sure that Boston will pick up their team and carry them as far as they can.

Finally, I can't watch the Lakers play anymore. After today's win over the Utah Jazz, I am sickened to the point where I am wondering if I did accidentally drink from the tap. Kobe Bryant is the recipient of so many ridiculous calls from referees that it is disgusting. Instead of being called for an obvious offensive foul late in the fourth quarter and with the Lakers trailing by 2, Bryant knocked a defender flat on his ass, dribbled around him and made an easy jumper for an and 1. A minute later, the best of the worst when it comes to the Lakers, Derek Fisher, was called for an offensive foul that was less obvious than Bryant's. I can't stand the Lakers and the fact that officials are paid to give Bryant game winning shots at every turn. Opposing players are afraid to defend Bryant because of the referees backing him up, and because of it, he has risen to a stardom he never deserved. Someone needs to fill his water bottle with Boston tap water and give him a taste of his own medicine, but for now, we need to pray that the Jazz can dig deep and put Bryant and Co. out of their misery.